It was almost 20 years ago that country music enjoyed one of its greatest renaissances. The success of “New Country” in the early 1990s was due in large part to it being the antithesis of the Seattle grunge movement that upended synthesized pop on the charts. Country has always been associated with the small town, conservative side of America and it has only been in recent years that country taken small steps to becoming cool with the whole gay thing.

But like its core middle-America audiences, that process has been slow and agonizing, Iowa notwithstanding. It has been a long, winding, bumpy gravel road and the end of that road appears nowhere on the horizon — at least not yet.

Hot on the heels of an impressive debut album that made him one of the hottest new acts in country in 1995, singer Ty Herndon was arrested at a park in Fort Worth, Texas, by an undercover male police officer who alleged that Herndon exposed himself and was soliciting sex. He was also found in possession of crystal meth. He entered a plea bargain, was sentenced to rehab and community service and the soliciting sex charge was dropped. The whole time, Herndon fought back rumors that he was gay, but the incident cast a pall over him and his image and pretty much grounded his skyrocketing career.

Kenny Chesney has also fought back for years against rumors that he is gay, rumors that reached a fever pitch after his marriage to actress Renee Zelweiger ended almost as quickly as it began, with the Oscar winner claiming fraud.

Still, to this day, there are no bona fide, openly gay country stars topping the charts.

“Country music and its fans are very much rooted in traditional values that have not yet come around to fully embracing gay culture,” said Jim Whitacker, an openly gay country music songwriter who continues to make his living in Nashville. He says he has found it difficult finding artists to work with in Music City because of his sexual orientation, but notes things are slowly changing.

“It’s not going to happen overnight, but there’s a real feeling in this city that change is coming. The environment isn’t as hostile towards gay people, but it’s still not all that friendly.”

He makes note of a recent hit “Love Who You Love “by one of the most popular country groups on the charts — Rascal Flatts — that became an unexpected gay anthem. Although he had no hand in writing that song (but wishes he had), Whitacker said it inspired him even more to live openly, even though it’s not always easy.

When the song was released last year, the group’s singer Gary LeVox told CMT: “We actually have some gay people that work with us, and we have a lot of friends that are gay, too, and I know that this song has inspired them. I know that coming out was tough on their parents and on them and the whole entire family. For a long time, some of them didn’t get to hear ‘I love you’ from their dads or be accepted in that way. … It’s helped a lot of our friends.”

“We don’t judge anybody’s lives,” says bassist Jay DeMarcus.

There is a growing list of gay allies and icons in country, not surprisingly most of them women. Included among them are icons Martina McBride, Dolly Parton, Reba McEntire, Faith Hill, Trisha Yearwood and the Dixie Chicks.

“We should all be tolerant of each other and embrace each other’s strengths and differences and uniqueness and beauty,” said McBride in an interview with Out Magazine late last year. It should come as no surprise that one of her biggest hits was the romantic staple “Valentine,” which she performed with piano whiz Jim Brickman — himself rumored to be gay, though he has never publicly come out of discussed his personal life.

Since the Kansas-born singer’s career-making cut “Independence Day” was released in the mid-’90s, McBride’s bravely confronted topics many country stars of her caliber won’t: domestic abuse, poverty, suicide and, on “Concrete Angel,” the unfathomable death of a child. Her 2003 song “In My Daughter’s Eyes” hints toward her belief in an “everyone’s equal” world. And she expounded on that during the interview, adding that she’d be down with an out country star and that she’d even consider writing a song about gay rights.

McBride’s coming out in support of gay rights still drew equal praise and condemnation from the country faithful. Hundreds of comments flooded The Boot, an AOL-produced country Web site, some quoting Biblical passages and declaring that they’d never again buy one of her albums, others calling her a “classy lady.”

McBride, who released her 10th studio album Shine at the time of the Out interview, wasn’t fazed by the reaction.

“I just have to do what’s right for me,” she said.

And like the Dixie Chicks several years earlier, it doesn’t appear her fans cared much about the fuss either and continued to buy her music as faithfully as always.

It was in 2003 that The Dixie Chicks discovered they have legions of gay fans — right around the time they were embroiled in the controversy over lead singer Natalie Maines speaking out against President George W. Bush at a concert in London.

While the trio lost many country music fans, who staged record-stomping protests and banned the group from their radio stations, they gained a gay army of people who appreciated the outspoken stance the girls took — and then refused to back down. In an interview with The Advocate, Maines said, “We do think we have more liberals and more gay men behind us. We have a gay hairdresser and gay make-up artist who are with us every single day, so they fill us in.”

Bandmate Emily Robison quipped that she noticed more lesbians at their shows, because they’re normally smitten by bandmate and sister Martie Maguire.

“They’re usually on Martie’s side. We always tease her that she gets all the lesbians.”

And she’s not the only female country siren to feel some major love from the lesbians. Mary Chapin Carpenter has long been rumored to be a lesbian, but has also had a major lesbian following — not to mention a fairly sizable gay male following.

As do undisputed queens of country Reba McEntire and Dolly Parton.

In an interview with abOUT last November, Parton said: “I never think about whether I love people or not. I love people! I think every person is God’s little special person and God wants them to be exactly who they are. I know I struggle to be my own self, and I do it every day. I don’t make any apologies for how I feel about people and gay people are to me just like everyone else. We are who we are. “

McEntire, who has never been shy about embracing her gay fans, said in an interview: “I just try not to judge. Don’t judge me, and I won’t judge you. And that’s what it says in the Bible — ‘Don’t judge.’

“Keep an open mind. “That would be my voice. I have gay friends. I have a lot of straight friends. I don’t judge them. I take them for what they are. They’re my friends, and I can’t defend my feelings for them, other than I like ‘em.”

Does Reba believe country is ready for an openly gay artist?

“I can’t say for sure,” she said with a laugh, “but anything is possible.”

McBride has her doubts.

“For a country star? Honestly, that’s a tough one,” she said with a sigh. “Our core audience, like you said, is very conservative, is very Middle America, very Bible belt. I don’t know. That might be a hard sell. I mean, I would be fine with it. But that’s — I don’t know if we’re ready for that.”

Whitacker is a little more blunt about it.

“Don’t hold your breath. We’re more likely to see a major league baseball or NBA star come out than see an openly gay performer top the country charts the way that someone like Brad Paisley or Tim McGraw have. It’s bound to happen someday and it will probably be a woman long before a man.

“But we’re a long ways away from that.”

He notes that there are lesbian artists with country overtones have been successful in music — most notably Melissa Etheridge, but even she is not all that loved in country music circles.

This is not to suggest there aren’t openly gay country music acts, of course.

There are a number of singers who have made somewhat of a name for themselves as “gay country artists,” including Kansas-born crooner Matt Alber who took part in a 2003 reality show searching for the “first gay country superstar.” Alber has since opted for more a pop balladeer sound with his debut album released in 2008.

Then there is Canada’s K.D. Lang, who came out of the closet more than a decade ago and in her home country, few country fans seemed to flinch. And while she remains an icon in Canada, the Grammy Award winner’s popularity in the United States has been largely on par with that of Etheridge. Popular, but nowhere close to superstar status.